my day was kinda a liitle cumberome. we had two claases with ambar and then bindu 's class. we had a presentation to do on "commodification of culture",does it sound interesting? ask me!!

its a quaint still a very practical phenomenon u knw this whole thing abt commodities, imagine audiences(people) themselves as commodities!but its true.

ok enogh of that, on the personal front,my day was as usual. im kinda in aspace between myself-as-i-wish-to-be and my peers. im just hoping that things wud be just fine.

ive come to a very imp conclusion u knw. and it is that i shud be a little considerate, stop saying"shut up"to people. and being a good person sans mood swings. now that everybody, right frm my parents, sibling ,ted and now my friends tell me that i have seriously severe mood swings, i knw i cant deny it, can run away frm reality . so the moral of the story is that baby is goin to try to be a better person!!!yipeeeee

yes it feels good , (i just hope i dont start again with the sob stories). so , it was the second and final day of the seminar at IIC on "Reporting Armed Conflict". it was umm.. want an honest answer?
well it was , frm a learner's perspective, very illuminating, and frm a student's perpective-very boring. cmon, im still a baccha trying to make maself used to sitting in a chair in one position, enduring the endless nuances and notions the notable nerds present( im sooo glad with this sensible alliteration that has come up, cmon, read the sentence again ,reader!).

i came back to college and then ted cameto pick, u knw i missed suchi's class today for the second time, i felt a little bad but then i thought it was okay!!. actually its not v okay cos next week ull be missing almost the whole week.

heyy im sooo lookin forward to next week for more reasond than one... these reasons are v beautiful u knw...lots of love n the air!!!

sooo is life goin fine!!umm let me answer that! it sure is!with all the friends turning foes without any reason or rhyme at all. well maybe some people are born not to live life but live all their vendettas on others. somebody help. meanwhile i was crazy to think that there was something wrong with me. there wasnt. god! think of the amount of time you spent in brooding over things, wondering if you made the mistake.

ted was right, u must leave them alone, to burn in their own fire. and im sure all this is happeneing for a good cause. your growth was stunting with those people dont u think so. u should be happy actually cos all this is happening without u having to do anything at all.

anyways, stop being foolish and wondering all the time... if u keep doing this then those people wud win cos that is what they want, to trouble u..well jealousy cud be a cause too... nyways stop wondering man ..

and just have fun listening to some real good music, watsay!! cheers!!

let me devote all of it to you my darling. i look back and i feel"whoaa its still both of us and we're still travelling together." how effortless yet thoughful all this has been. sometimes it feels taht it just didnt take both of us anything extra to make things shimmery, love more delightful. the truth is that it was always delighful without requiring any extra effort. or maybe we were putting everything, nurturin it but so immersed we were that we just didnt realise that we were actaully working on something delicate yet strong...

i cherish it all.

it may sound a little crazy at this moment. of course im in love, only people who are in t mana ge to speak some utter gibberish which holds a beautiful and profound meaning for the one in love but trash for the uninitiated in love. well wat im tryin to say today is that its been morethan five years now for us. HALF A DECADE!!! whoaa! lets celebrate.where is the wine and the champagne. well these years have been eventful, memeorable and beautiful. but suddenly after all these years of craziness ive suddenly realised that my craziness levels in love have plummeted. u see i just feel so. but there is no real evidence for . on the contrary there's more evidence that tells me that im still the same. i still feel the same urge to meet my love and spend loads of time in each other's arms. but yeah the thing that has come upon is the sense of long term relationship cells .. well i read in nat geo some time back that wat sets apart mature realtionships whicha are also long term is the presence of some long term love cells sort of things in the partners' bodies. im sure we have acquire dloads of it and are hence enjoyin ourselves in every way. why do i suddenly feel taht im married and have come to a stage where eveything seems settled and without conflict.

hee he but the reality is that these feelings are only fleeting experiences. im as much a nasty,impulsive and crazy person as i always was.or probably worse off.bye, cya its one thirty in the morn,gota sleepa nd wake up early for college tomorrow.

it was a great day. well it started off well with an insightful, thought provoking and oh so moving lecture by achin vanaik. he is such a genius. maybe it is because of the fact that we first yr students still havent received a heavy flush of academic discourses and the first impression of something, if it is agood one does last a long time. but i still remembet the last lecture he gave sumtine in the first semester wen he spoke abt nuclear sumthn, well i dont remember anything of it. actualluy it was a topic of considerable relevance to our seniors than us. so we were there just cos we were supposed to be. anyways this particular lecture was truly amazin. maybe it wasnt all that great if judged on a scale but made me especially feel for it cos i felt it was a sort of balanced, organised and compact discussion on terrirism . and i really had no idea that there were "studies" about terrorism.well of course all of feel for the cause, denounce it in downright simple terms but it was a new experience trying to analyse or to be straight, to know that there existed different strands of it. one such example being the gravity of the whole state spomsored terrorism scene which flaring these days.

wish we could be of more help to things. actually wat i meant to say is that ...u se i was wondering the other day that..this wonder-a pretty stray one but truly genuine one .. that why are we trying t ocure sumth that is so avoidable. why did we choose to kill people to bring the situyation to this helm of affairs. it is atrociously disgusting to know that humans, so wat if u are the pres of the united states of america or the dictator of some countr6y, u are a man, woman, a human.why dont you realise it. wat are u trying to achieve or wat pompous show of it are you attempting wen u know taht all that u will be doin is messing ur hands, smearing it with the blood of faceless people, most of whom u wont even get a chance to explain why they were killed cos they were neither the intented victims not the perpetrators. they were just there, they accindently happened to be there, to live in the same times as your limitless tyranny...

why are u goin to die with infinite curses. .. wat will u think of on ur deathbed. say a thousand sorries, cry. but surely u wont be able to forgive urself..

i cud be one of these perpetratos, i dont want to be, lets try not to be. we support the state for its anti humanitarian stand, we become the perpetraotrs... stop it.

how pathetic !! oh im sorry i promised not to be negative anymore u see. but things are so crazy with me. im sure im one of those weird creatures whom people dont know how to handle. well today was a strange day. i had a so-so day at college. had bindu one period and two ambar. the day was exhausting nevertheless. and then there was this task at hand. thanks to shreya and the xerox guy for plotting this treachury, losing the reading and causing me to go to the lecturer's place and fetch it. well it wasnt all that bad actually.

i changed two buses and took well over and hour to reach JNU and met with the lec who was a very friendly person, much more like a student (infact she is one) than a towering figure that makes up a teacher. she was a pleasant person though i suspect if she saw me any close to pleasant. well i was like the true myself: "pensive"(imthankful she summed it for me), acting as if im brooding over sumthn way too importtant to be even mentioned. and siiting in clumsy postures attracting people's attention.add to that the sudden cloak of diffidence that i adorn whenever met with an oppotunity to show utmost confidence and conviviality. thats one thing that is soo excruciatingly irritating about u. imagine, u were soo clumsy with urself that she even had to ask, not once but twicw whther i felt sleepy or distracted.

well are u gonna listen to my case or not. u see i was meeting a teacher. so wat if she didnt exactly seem like one, it didnt make things any easier for me. after all, she was a teacher. and how was i supposed to carry on with a friendly banter with her. not that i didnt like her. but i was judging myself looking at myself thru her eyes i suppose. wellthat sthe worst thing u cud do to urself. it is shameful!! by not being vocal articulate and by not acting like a sane being u went even more on the wrong side.its fine c'mon.

let me heed those inspiring words by joyce meyer. :dont keep thinkin ppl dislike u. u r just messing around with ur own hapiness. and u r the one whose always gonna be at the losing side,always. because u urself start the trouble for ur own self. okay th epunchline is taht my first meeting with any person goes ina weird fashion. with the other part always carrying back the impression that i am strange.. let me face it.

and wast else? yes a very crucial fact. i just happento mention that my sister's bro in law studies here and she happens to know him very well. and even before i cud touch down upon the issue wid my sis , she knew her name. how crazy. its a small world and so why do i always have to be on the losing sdie always . tell me ya ./

suddenly i feel that i dont and i canr carve a niche for myself. see wats hapeinin in college.
heyyyy give urself some time and some credit too okay. dont cut urself to ribbons. love urself.....xxxxx

well i know its a phase every teenager passes thru. it is a stage of disillusionment, confusion and haziness over that priority list everybody talks abt and preaches to get right. forget abt gettn it rite, im not even sure abt what exactly are these prioroties. see i understand that studies occupy a huuuge chunk in the highest rung of this list. but that;s just not it. there have to be many more better options too. okay, start with makin urself beeter. take time off to be nice to ppl, become pals with interested ppl and dont be shy my honey.

btw, i got my first semester result today. i scored fine.70% .. actually, 69.5% which can be easily rounded off, watsay?
ive stood third in class. god!! why am i even being so childish to proclaim such a trivial thing...its carazy, i mean i am.

i was teds place. well thatas the place im mostly at. its kinda pleasant. but these im feeling a little wary also. cos i dont fel im reading up to the mark and im fearing its because of the whole spending-time-there-business. i need to get over it. atleast read the newspaper thoroghly. just imagime how much knowledge u can get in just reading that. and i think i need to remind maself that im doing an honours course on JOURNALISM. shame on u babes.. better pull up ur socks. u gotta fare beter this sem to get a good average okayy. remember goota top okay!!

its nice to get started.. after days of dormant existence, its bright and suny to see life emerging like a rainbow again. i think we'll have agreat time ahesd. lives are curious,they need to be discussed, shared, flaunted or regretted sometimes. wat beeter way tha to start this way....