yay yayD yes yes yes its my last paper tomorow!! im so excited!! of course not abt the paper but about the hols after that..and also because im gonna meet ted after 3 weeks!!!

me sooo happy...got a new hairstyle..its not very different but shorter version. my hair had grown out untidily frm behind and i wanted to get them trimmed a bit.but i was in a dilemma cos i wanted to grw them long.. but i thought maybe i need a trim n after that i can grow the. so i went today..u knw wat? .ive had very short hair(boy cut) for most of my life and despite feeling tempted to grow them i wud think that yes im gonna grow them now..so everytime my hair start gettn long , i get crazy n i wana get them cut short again!!,i look at women who have short hair n want my hair to be short too,i wana get back to my smart short hair. though i have a good texture, my hair are straight too, ideal for a long growth, i wud never grow them..this time i was sure i wud grow them.but when i starte dgetting a lil intidy, i got them cut. but thank god i didnt get a short bob cut..mine are a lil longer than that...

hey!!! i remember havin 61 friends on my blog till yesterday, today there are only 60 left....i didnt know that theres an option to "withdraw" like that..but who wud wanna do it, i wonder nyways, it is fine with me.....

had BIT paper today..it ws just fine.kinda boring u knw.the first section was still tolerable but the next section had 5 Qs outta which we had to do 2. the fisrt one was on digital n analog commnication..and the rest four, all of them were on internet, cyber media, print media n all that crap..i mean, the QS resembles each other so much n im sure our answers will also resemble a lot..basically u had to write the same answer for each Q..it was funny cos we had to stuggle to be differnt in each Q...but the crux n the matter was almost the same..hey im listening to "just go ahead" spin doc, i love the song..hmm sometimes i wonder why is dat i love all these old song...they have that magic which is missing in contmporary songs..i love roxette n other songs like "take my breath away" n stuff like that..hmm im loving it...

tomorw got "basics of information technology)...well as far as the basics are concernd ,they have been brushed up n crammmed only in the past 2days. ..so all the best to me..i think im gonna be not very bad..actually one cant tell, they can fuckin give anythn expectin us to it all...lemme pray its only the basics theyre gona give,,otherwise me sacked!

yup this is gonna be a quick one..hello everybody!!:p hows every1 there...im kinda busy studn...(actually searchin for study material than studnn)...so cya later..

yup thats what im thinkin exactly.monday is my BIT (basics of information tech) paper..thruout the whole sem, we didnt do anything ab the subject..for the first month, we didnt have a teacher, then came a crazy guy,who thought he was really smart n instead of teching things, wud comment , sumtimes they wud be lewd too. so we told our other teacher(a good one) abt it, the class had to give an application sayin that he was bad n so he was chicked out.actually we wasnt all that bad..one girl in class had partcular probs with her..atleat he had stuff to teach...next came another teacher, this time a lady (a pass out of our own college n our own course)..she was a another character.didnt know anything abt tech..wud ask us to create blogs n check out net newspapers n wud go "oh my god,wat is this!!" wen she saw that in the question papers we get Qs on CAS n Modems n other techy things...so we thought that the previous crazyhead was better.its okay even if he was bad, atleast he cud have given us notes. so he was called back but it was too late..little time n lots to cover.i dont knw wat notes he gave, i got some notes frm a senior(they arent good enuf to pass me)...but here i am now...struggling to find stuff on the net...like i said..INTERNET SAVES!!!!

yay yay IR is over , we left wid 2papers now.next is on mon and the last on thurs...after that....wow wow wow!! fun frolic n fantasies...hahaha fantasies: they include a great trip to one of the best places in the world, among many other fantasies too... im still feeling a lil exhausted even after a sleep of a nice 4hrs..wana sleep again, but i knw i wont get any...

well i gotta start with BIT now. it is sumthn that i havent toughed at all...lote to do..also the choices are fewer in NIT paper...hmm time to study now

got international politics tomrw...best of luck n all th ebest to me...otherwise, its a crazy time for me....

hey how do you find out who tagged u?? wat options do u follow to find the blogger who tagged u sumthng?? pls tel

today was a bad day. we lost our darling plutus.he was my baby, a lonely kitten wanting to be loved.i loved him.we were alway so worried abt him cos he was one of those meek kittens who didnt play like other kittens, also he was a little too timid.but we loved him dearly. today in the morning, bad news came wen mom came up crying saying that plutus was gone. a cuople of street dogs below our buildings had attacked him n taken away hi sprecious life. mom cud not control herself, we was partcularly attached to all the babies we had at home,she was their mother too. we was crying uncontrollably and scolding me that i let the kitten out frm its liitle home(we kept plutus in the house cos there are a thousand dogs surrouding our building n its very unsafe for cats)...i let plutus out of its little home (which id in my balcony) n he slipped out of the house n went down, that is wen he was caught by the ruthless dogs.mom still cant get over it cos she saw the dogs, about four of them snatching the kitten amongst themselves...i was sad..mom cant get the scene out of her head.she was very sad that she cud do nothin abt the baby while he lay there with his helpless body...it was too late, the dogs had killed him. i cant believe that heappend cos just a couple of minutes before my mom came to tell me that plutus was dead, he was sitting with me, rubbing his black slender body against my hand, wanting to be patted n caressed...

plutus, may ur soul be blessed...we couldnt save you, but we love u baby...

yup my blog is really showering peace on me !!!(wat a wacky sentence!!) it look serene ...its relaxing...everything looks so good, the pics fit in so well, my kitties look adorable n also the background pic(though its a bit large!)

yes im ver relaxed topday and i like it..woke up early(nine) and went to college with mom to pick admit card, came back, studies a bit, slept a bit and started studn again..n everything seems relaxed..but i still hear the faint voices(check the previous enrty for more on this)...somehow today i started hearing another tune also oalong withth eusual one...hop eit goes away soon otherwise im gonna get mad...okey dokey, bye for now, catch ya later!!

yes yes its true, i am hearing voices..well they arent actually VOICES but tunes.for the past two days i keep hearing the echo or watevr u call it , around me.and the tune i keep hearing is the ringtone of my mom's phone.it is weird cos it is disturbing me all the times.the phone is not around, there are no other voices but i keep hearing d low hum of the tune which is very hypnotic, shrill and exasperatn. and the whole thing is that its continuous, it keeps happeng all the time. even wen i study,its happeng n disturbing me.i tried to sit in the other room thinking that it is just a crazy in my room but it happens there as well!! ithought that maybe im getting MAD and gettin MAD BIG TIME....boohoo its crazy .i was tellin boy abt it.he asked me to sleep well and take rest frm my studies...well one plausible reason why i hear the ringtone tune iscos yesterday, my mom got a number of calls on her cell, which set off the funny ringtone everytime the phone rang ..so maybe that is why im hearing d tune even wen the fone isnt ringing!!!

hmmm i had a funny dream. infact i had a dream after a loooong time.it was real curious one. i am with ted in his car and we're parking the car near a bank..and guess who comes..ma'am patri comes and sees, i knw that she has seen me so i approach her and i say goodmoring, actaully it was 2pm(i knew that in my dream!!!cool no?)...so i say goodafternoon to her...then ted is out of the car and coming this side, towards us.she asks me how come im here.i tell her that i was goin to college to pick up my admit card and we stopped here, that i was with my friend. i introduce both of them...that was the funniest part..i say to patri "this is ____ " and to ted i say" this is ma'am patri, she teaches us and she is a pycho(ologist)..." patri already knows that ted is a musician and she says"oh hes a mmusician.." or sumthn like that....hmm so dat was cool, patri and ted meeting......

hey hows my new blog design..i never put up a pink design, thought its too ..u knw...but i like this one which ive put up. also the background pic and the colour of the blog go well together...its nice and im happy:p....okay im off to sleep now.its 2:43 am..better sleep, got an early day tomorrow.have to go to college with mom to pick my admit card for the exams...okay tata.bye..im feelin sleepy too

hmmm im just wondering how many posts ive written abt my exams that r due on wed..i mean this blogging activity has actually proved to be a stres buster..everytime i wana get away frm studin the" foreign policy of india" opr "crowd psychology " or " mass culture"..al i do is switch on th ecomp and start bloggin..mor ethan writn, i just keep readin blogs..its gun to knw wats happeng on the other side of the world..sometimes i realise that oh there are so many ppl , actually most of them frm uk or europe..and here i , down south , eastern hemisphere in india...its fun to be blogggn here..i think i better get back to studn abt "hitlers propanganda " befor i start complaing that im not workin hard enough....well my first paper is on "social psyche and mass culture" n thats why all these rantings abt mass culture and propagmda and paopular culture..but its fun wen u start discovering things on ur own...

hmm okay i was watchin father of the bride yesterday n i cant get this song outta my mind since yesterday..it goes like "today i met the boy im gonna marry.." now THE QUESTION is that wat is the song's name(as in wat is it actually called..."...wana download father of bride soundtrack..oh im so much in love with the song..

i feel very senti today..really ..was watchin father of bride(1991) today. cud catch only the last bit but boy it was th ebest thing i saw in days....i love the father...and the kiddo bride, wat an adorable...somehow cant forget the scenes and the whole affair of gettn married and the sentimental journey that begins after that. i was wondering whether my wedding wud also be sumthn like that..:p...not that im like those girly girls who fantasise abt their fairy tale weddings...no thats not me...an ideal wedding acc to me wud be get married in a court and give a small( isaid small) party at home and that too if its really necessary...i feel that way cos here in india weddings are suposed to be a massive affair..it is not just thebride and groom who get married but the whole fat family...somehow i dont like that..thats too much of a headache for parents and the money ...whoa ...parents start saving for their daughter's wedding rite frm the day she is born!!! how i hate this mentality..i wana defy it BIG TIME...and good that my mom already knws my intentions...after the weddings of my two elder sis and the money wastage, the last thing i want my parents to do is to spend huge amts on my wedding and get hassled menatlly, physically and financially in their "old" age....sumtime i joke with my mom sayin dat i wont even tell her wen i get married!!! ....but today i really got thinkn abt the both of us u knw...it gettin so deep and i wonder how many years are to pass like this ...wana start livin in soon man!! love ted sooo much!!:b:b.....

everybody seems to be thinkin abt themselves all the time....hmmm so i gotta bunch of selfish ppl around here...cmon answer some questions atleast....suddenly everybody is mum as if god knows wat has happened!!!

hey..im here in delhi and the time here is well pat midnite.its actually early morn its 2am..can i change the format on blog.co. to suit my time....anybody knws how to...co sit is funny, the blog shows 18may though its 19 here...nyways it doesnt matter much....:b.....i love ROXETTE..im listening to joyride..i lovethe song..esp the part wen it goes"rock u like a baby" also the whistlng part is sooo cool....i have always loved roxette..al their songs...

i love you darling!!! u are such a wonderful girl.im proud of u.im sure you're gonna make me really proud wen u grow up to be a good and kind human being.u already are and i like you.im happy that u are doing all ur work whole heartedly. ur studinng well, workin hard atrying to tap ur full potential.u ar egoin the rite way. u got a great instinct to do things putting urself deep into watever u do...hmmmm i love u *xxxxx*...

okay, i gotta plan now for 2mrw.
for IR:finish writing ASEAN answer, read up WTO and IMF and dont leave out fundamenatlism...also need to start consolidating everything .start learning also...

spmc:sunday, mon and tues will take care..

bit: gawd, i think im gona have prob here.

ire: oh, u also exist!!! the two days will take care.i search a bit rite now

gawd, finally the datesheet IS out. they're beginning frm 24th. finishin on 1st..thank god it is before my bday....:p ...at the moment, im studyn nuclear prolifeartion and NPT...hmmm let me get back before i start feeling that im not workin hard enough....

hmmmm....let me ask ppl in this blogosphere AM I ANNOYING?????....public poll time..answer in YES or NO or CAN'T SAY and explain why u think wat u think..:b

hmmmmm that is what happens wen u study toomuch, u start liking it!!but hey im not complaining, it is good that im likin it...but wait a sec, who talks abt studies on the blog...let me not commit this sacrilege and write abt more beautiful things....see i only have studies on my mind rite now and can only talk abt that....well today was a loooong day. i mean not that i did maaaaany things but i studied abt "mass culture", something i cud barely understand let alone like..but after reading up a lot of stuff on it, i began liking sudying the theory, its criticisms and all that jazz.

now that ive read up a lot, i plan to write notes so that i remember it well. exams next week onwards.the only bad thing abt them is that we mite get a very short gao between the exam days, as short as even 1 day...boohoo but ive been a good girl all thruout(for a change ) and i think it shudnt bother me much...

okay now bye bye

yes yes finally they are beginning, ud be surprised to know that im talkin abt my exams.no wwho waits for their exams...but we had to wait such a looooong time that we got so bored and wanted our $%^#king exams to begin soon. now they are.they are gonna start frm 23rd though the deatiled official datesheet is still due for tomorrow...now i want them to begin soon and end soon too.

gawd, im really gettin fat..i didnt notice it all this while but today, while looking at maself in the mirror mirror on the wall, i saw a fatty face like a ball. yup, my already chubby face has become more and more chubby and i have gained a nice tyre of flab around my waist...this the result of stayig at home and pampering urself....holidays u see, and its not even been a month as yet,guess wat will happen in another 2months wen i resume college??? i d be a fat fat chubby baby...

its well past midnight and it rained here after a looooong time.my otherwise furnac ehot room is cool and it feels good. it was scorching hot these past days with no sign (and sigh) of relief...but this nice shower has brought the temperature down!!hope it stays cool like this...

another thing, i was feelin pretty good , happy and contented this evening...it was nice to be urself and see that u feel happy...:p
i love myself and wud never stop doin it....

right now im shuttling on my computer for two things. one of them i HAVE to do, no matter what and the other i must do to feel good. so u see im shuttling between studying and entertainment(mental solaceD)...i study a bit and then i start the net and surf a bit and then i revert to studying...its a little funny but im not exactly in the mood of doing either whole heartedly taht's why in such a state....seeeya later, now i must shuttle again..pray that i dont start surfing again..gotta study...

it was this ad in the paper which i just saw that triggered this sentiment.these kinda ads are very common and u see them everyday.it was abt this slimming centre which showed the "before and after" version of a previously fat woman.the after version showed the woman telling the readers "now my husband cant take his eyes off me".

well let me warn you that what im gonna write is not a funny piece, it is an outburst of couple of sentiments that i myself have been feeling for quite a few months.so here it goes. why are women so obsessed with honing their physical beauty to please their men? and why most of these women are under this insecurity that if they dont look pleasing and nice, it wud give enough reasons for their men to indulge in transgressions.why, why , WHY????

i deeply feel for this issue.why is that men are so free with their bodies and dont mind getting fat(they dont have to worry that fatness wud make their wives run away frm them)..why is that.im just trying to figure out.why do i thnk ten tousand and one times abt the way i look and my dress before meeting him.im sure he doesnt care whether is fat or ugly or dirty. another thing. can he stay in love with me without me staying beautiful forever(not that i am rite now!!)

why do i think that i need to be pretty and beautiful to keep himself forever in love with me.im not saying that the basis of this love is physical attraction, all im saying is dat is whether my being beautiful cud make him love me more...

i feel that a part of this problem lies in the larger issue of traditional gender relations in which a woman must keep her man "happy"....i dont understand wht is this "happiness" all abt.but it is assumed that a woman must groom herself and that too only for her husband(these are the notins in india)....of course i dont believe in them cos they try to say that a woman shud not try to look attarctive in the absence of ur husband...it is crazily crazy..

i knw that it is not only men that make women wana look good. women naturally wana look good out of their obsession wit beauty. but why is that sometimes a woman is blamed for not being good enough for her husband...i asked ted once abt one of his friends who was supposed to be happily married with two little kids , and had a caring wife too. i asked ted why was his friend sleepin outside marriage despite having a good wife and a loving family, ted replied very promptly,saying that she was sooo fat u knw...i said "but he loves his wife" , ted said "love and sex are two different things baby"...........

since that day i keep torturing ted abt this statement he made and i am waiting for the time to see it coming true for me too..........

grrrr...i wanna kill that woman..she who must not be named on the blog, actually let me unwrap her slowly...giv out her identity bit by bit.she happens to be this crazy teacher in collge who completely sucks...she teache sus subjects like communication theory and stuff like that and she cant bloody communicat eherself...she is damn crazy..in classes, she fumble slike anything...
comes to teh class and says..."today we are gonna study abt ababb..ababbabb...modaals (models) of communication." also her accent is one of the worst ...pronounces "guest" as "gust", hilary as "hilaaary", auto as "outo", "bomb" as "boomb" an dcheck out this one...once in the class,while teaching semiology(one which none of us have any clue..she never really taught anything u see),she asked "what comes to your mind when u think of a "LAUTUS" " for a moment the class didnt know what to say....what she meant by LAUTUS was actually LOTUS and the first thing that came to our mind wen she asked us the question was "incorrect pronunciation"...hahahaha

okay now to bash her...she is the worst teacher we ever had...doesnt teach a thing in class....an dwatever she does mange to, it is severely affected by her faulty communication...and we cant even do a shit abt her...ah e is fat as a football...ha hair that resemble a bee hive...my friend jokes saying that if one throwa a coin in her hive, one cud never be able to find it...her hive is soooo dense..and now that the sem is over and we all are anxiously awaiting our datesheet to be out ...we realise that she never taught a thing in the class and her note, whatevr few she managed to give us are all useles...and im relying totally on the net for all my stuff...al my studies..im googling all the time, trying to get stuff relate dto our course..it is so bugging..we are supposed to be one of the most "prestigious colleges of our country" and this is the kind of faculty we get...we all plan to take a serious action against her in july wen we resume college...we definitely dont want her in our third sem...::.

okay bye for now...let me start sifting thru all what im managed to cut and paste frm the net to study...
cya.....

well never mind the goofy smile, my day was okey-dokey today...havent done much but still plan to(u see my day is not finished as yet though the clock is well past 12midnight). i have become a total nocturnal person what with waking up at one thgirty in the afternoons and staying awake till 2 in the midnight ...only to realise that im lazing around a lot and can spend more time on constructive stuff...it isnt that im nor studying , i am and i think at a fine pace considering that the datesheet isnt out as yet and with no sword dangling above my neck..hummmm

so today i was obsessed with fundamentalism, this topic in really difficult to formulate into a cohesive , coherent answer, what wit ethnicity and nationalism also trying to fit in..after much trying and googling big time yesterday whole night, i thoughgt ill finish my answer in the morn, but i struggled again only to realise that i had grown bore dwith it big time and since i hadnt attended the class on it , it was posing problems for me. so i left it there and decided to get back after other things...thsn i started wit foreign policy and im still at it...suddenly i am badly obsessed with getting my answers ready..i am almost copying frm the sources all the time...hehehe i know that is a little crazy but i also know that the final draft on the answer sheet wud be typically mine...my imprints...okay so by for now..hey also a good news, we are meeting tom..it is gonna be a great day im sure...bye ..have to get back to the foreign policy...

i was sitting,
decided to lay down and give my sorrows a thought or two
yesterday we were talking,
he had asked me to listen to my inner voice to find a clue
i began listening,
to something smothered stifled inside me
i resorted to dreaming,
i realised this is what keeps me happy.......